MARINA SOKOLOVA

Humour.

Putin's assistant says to Putin:

- Sir, I have two news for you good and bad. Which one do you want to hear first?

- Give me the good one first.

- We won!

- And what is the bad one?

- Noone voted for us.

 

LOL

Humour.

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie... Hell is waiting for you."To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"
The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife."
The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation."To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"
The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice."
The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four-bedroom house and a BMW."To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"
The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times."
The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation."A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!"
The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"

Jock.

Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

Humour.

 

Anecdote.

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

Funny gypsy cartoons.

  

Joke.

I created a virtual me in the Sims and set on making his perfect life. I made him a wonderful career, attracted a nice girlfriend, and kept the home spotless. Then after few hours I decided to take a shower, so I gave a virtual me 15 minutes of free will. When I came back, the house was in mess, he was fired from his job, his girlfriend dumped him, and he was just sitting there, playing on the pc.

Humour.