MARINA SOKOLOVA

A way to make fresh air at home.

This is an interesting speech about how to produce all the oxygen one needs at home:

 

I doubt that this approach would be suitable for UK climate though. More than 2 plants per room can create or worsen the humidity and mould problems for those who don’t have a dehumidifier.

Slim, but have a pot belly?

You have been dieting and exercising, but your belly sticks out nevertheless? Often slim people have pot belly, not because they are fat, but because their pelvis is tilted into the wrong position. This happen when a person does a lot of sitting down. The muscles called hip flexors (muscles of the front side of the thigh) and hip adductors (muscles of the inner side of the thigh) become shorter. And as a result the lower part of the spine becomes curvier than it should be, making the belly stick out. So, try and stretch those muscles regularly and see if it improves your posture.

 

 

And if you still want to do exercises for abdominal muscles, they say that ones called front and side planks work the fastest:

 

How to fall a sleep.

It is hard for me to first fall a sleep and then to wake up. It is as if melatonin in my blood takes time to first produce itself and then to clear away. And occasionally I suffer from a slight insomnia. Lately I discovered another thing that helps me personally. The key is to think about something interesting enough to stay focused, but boring enough to fall a sleep. For example: trying to resolve in your mind personal problems is a big no no. Neither do you get any clarity on the issue, nor do you sleep. Latest positive news are also no. I don't know about you, but I get too exited thinking about really positive stuff to sleep.

I need some kind of version of counting sheep, but more engaging. For example, I pick a character from TV series No Ordinary Family and think about what would I do with her or his super powers. This is a perfect balance for me. It is interesting enough to keep thinking about it. But because it is impossible and irrelevant to me personally, it is boring enough to quickly fall a sleep.

The unqualified domestic managers.

I love the latest TV show by Kirstie Allsopp on UK's Channel 4 – Homemade Home. The point of the show is that she comes into an expensive property that looks like cr*p as you walk into it and by shifting the junk around and spending a minimal budget she turns it into an amazing home. What I find very peculiar in this show is the face of the males when its all done. You can just hear what some of them think: “My wife could never pull this off”.

An acquaintance of mine, who came from a humble background and now teaches in an university for a living, recently hired her first domestic cleaner. She was not entirely happy with the cleaner's work, nor did she explained in advance what exactly it is she wants. She is not sure how to approach the subject without offending the cleaner. No, she is not like someone who cleans before the cleaner comes, but she is still too shy to talk about the standards with the cleaner. She told me with a sigh: “Don't you think it is weird that an educated woman like me cant manage one cleaner?”

You can see this lack of management everywhere. Plumbers and electricians will not give you an exact time slot and turn up or not turn up whenever they feel like it, as if your time is worth nothing compared to their time. Builders would drink tea and drag the work out forever not caring one bit.

A lot of people, regardless of their background, often don't seem to know how to shop smart, how to budget well, how to get a good deal, how to contract workers, how to manage them. And creatively, people often don't have much taste and skills either. They have the means, they buy wonderful pieces, but they don't know how to pull the look together. I must admit I don't have much of those skills either. And I haven't thought as of why before.

If you look at it closely, managing a home is very much like managing a business. But somehow people grew to view housewives more as low-value unfulfilled servants and less as managers and jobs-givers that they are. People also often wrongly assume that women are automatically qualified homemakers. But they are not, if no one taught them the project management, financial, design, and other skills.

Hunger.

For many years I am struggling to understand why in Africa people die from starvation. I am not joking. I honestly can’t comprehend how can they die in such a lush climate.

When I was growing up, we used to be taught in schools in history lessons or in movies on TV about how “partisans” used to live and fight during World War 2. When Germans invaded a village, most people ran into the nearest forest burning things behind them and throwing a dead animal into a water supply, so Germans would have nowhere to sleep (houses were made of wood and burned quickly), nothing to eat, and got poisoned with water. For the first night people would bury themselves in the snow. For long term they would dig a pit, cover it with branches and let snow cover it or if in the summer, they would cover branches with dirt. This type of accommodation is called “zemlyanka”, quick to make, and can have hole for smoke from cooking fire, door and optional windows. On a surface “zemlyanka” can be invisible if no smock rises. One can walk over it and not notice. Most hunters usually have their own zemlyankas anyway. Those who couldn’t hunt, eat some kind of bark, pine needles, and the like. A hot drink of boiled pine needles have lots of vitamins in it and can keep one healthy for considerable number of days when no sufficient food was available. For water, tea, or cooking, yes, you guessed right - snow was used. When travelling one slept in a snow. In order not to freeze to death one need to bury her/himself completely. A breath and body heat would create a cavity around the body and eventually a small hole on the top for the air, naturally. This cavity will hold a warmth created by one’s body and the snow would act as insulation. One does not suffocate this way. If other people present, it is best to snuggle together. In the summer things are naturally much easier, as almost everything around is eatable. When I was growing up, most children knew these things despite the fact that we were not likely to ever have to resolve to it.

So, I really can’t understand how in the part of the world with such lush jungles one allegedly cannot survive if needs to, and for sooooooooo maaaaany years. Come on people, beat that monkey of the bush and eat it already. I am not even going to start talking about how easy it is, probably, to grow things in such warm climate and how little clothes one, probably, needs there.

Another thing that always puzzled me in the reports about Africa is lack of water. Why can’t one move closer to water or simply dig a well. In old days wells were everywhere, like at least one per village, right? Why can’t they dig them in Africa? What it is that special condition? They lost knowledge of locating water underground? Is it a special part of the world where there is no water underground? They don’t have shovels to dig? What is the problem?

How to manage menstruation on a sunny holiday.

I was curious how other women manage their menstruation when swimming and sunbathing on holiday. So I asked around in real life and in online forums. My research gave me 5 possible methods of managing menstruation on holiday, which I list below starting with most popular.

1. Tampons.

Tampons seem to be the most popular choice and are used by a lot of women while swimming. However large part of those women hate the fact that a tampon can absorb chlorinated water through the string. So a lot of women limit their use only for the days with the heaviest flow or change them after they get out of the pool.

2. Nothing.

This seems to be the second most popular method. A lot of women don’t use anything, because their flow is not that heavy in their opinion. They usually advise wearing dark colour swimsuit and wet bottom often, so any menstruation fluid rinse a way. When this is discussed at the forum there is often at least one person, usually a male as it seems (what do they do on women’s forum anyway lol), who would comment that this is disgusting. And he is usually replied that he shouldn’t use public pools then, if he is squmish of the thought of menstruating woman, because he never knows what he is swimming in.

3. A pad.

Yes, a pad. I found one woman, who said that she uses a thin pad, like everyday pantyliner, when she swims. And that yes it does get wet. If the flow is heavy, she changes it. And if not, it rinses itself while she swims.

4. The power of mind.

I stumbled across one very interesting advice online. There, a woman described how she uses a meditation to manage her cycle. She affirms to her self that her menstruation would only start after the holiday. She said that she has been successful with this technique.

5. Diva/moon cup.

I haven’t found anyone who uses this device, even so producers swear that one can swim and do sports with it all they long without any thought about it. If you tried that, tell us in comments section about it, please.

Improvised cooking on the road.

Male contraception.

Considering the fact that the male reproductive system is so much simpler than the female, it is weird that there is still no male pill available. In fact males have amazingly fewer contraceptive choices than women. I guess this is because if male pill existed then humans definitely wouldn’t breed anymore. Where as without a pill they are still at the mercy of occasionally broody women.

How to deal with difficult parents.

  

My relationship with my mother is never been entirely good. It took a lot of effort, diplomacy, and willpower on my side to achieve a friendly adult relationship with her. Throughout my life I have met other women whose mothers or fathers were challenging as well and learned from their experience too.  Over the years I have come to few fundamental conclusions with regards to difficult parents:

  

1)      It helps to view parents just like any other people. Hence do not let them get away with the behaviour you wouldn’t put up with from other people. Don’t value their opinion above all. Basically, do not idolise them.

  

2)      The truth is some parents are envious of their kids lives or achievements. Psychologists say that about 60% of parents across the world and regardless of culture admit to be envious of their kids. Sometimes it safer to keep an unhappy, bitter, envious parent slightly at a distance.

  

3)      It is no good patronising parents. They are not little kids despite the fact that sometimes they behave as such. Remember, if they could manipulate you then they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves in this world.

  

4)      Do not try to earn or buy your parents’ love or approval. Unconditional love is simply ether there or not. Point. The sooner you stop wasting your time trying to achieve it, the better for you.

  

5)      Accept that not all children are wanted. Some of us have happened doe to lack of quality contraception, choices, or knowledge and/or have been born in a stressful environment. BTW, one way of telling that your mother had stress during pregnancy is if you been born left handed (according to Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz, “The New Feminine Brain”).

  

6)      In some extreme cases, the only choice one might have is to sever contact completely and work to get rid of false guilt feeling about it if it occurs.

  

7)      It is NOT necessary to forgive or get closure if you don’t feel like it in order to move on, unlike what some religions or psychologists might tell you. You are entitled to your own opinion with regards to your own experience that might sometimes differ from the opinions of those around you. Remember: millions of people agreed with Hitler, but that didn’t make him right.

  

8)      If you weren’t lucky with parents, it is best to work on getting over it, eventually stopping dwelling on it, then count your blessings and get on with your life.

 

A note about older ways:

 

 In some places, the tradition survived to cast a spell on babies for future obedience to the mother. It seems boys are more subject to it than girls since in the old days sons often used to live with their parents even during adulthood. It is easy to fix this with either specific ritual or any ritual that generally deals with fixing “spoiling”. In the case of success, one feels like a veil was suddenly pulled of her head and the air looks brighter or clearer and the mother’s behaviour all of a sudden seems in a different light.

 

However, mothers can retaliate or hire a professional. Hence it is wiser not to marry their boys at all. Even if you can get your way with her, wouldn’t you prefer a bit more energetically and psychologically equal life partner who is a bit more used to having his/her own mind?

 

If your own mother uses witchcraft for practicality and sees you as her property, then the following might happen. She would either repeat the obedience ritual or she might choose to simply “call” you like they “call” lost person - in which case you might get a weird urge to contact her. You can exercise willpower and resist that. Use any additional spiritually cleansing rituals if needed. It also helps to sever any energy ties to her. Eventually she will ether give up or you will grow energetically stronger than her and develop better immunity, hence her manipulations will no longer have any affect. As she gets older and more used to having less control, she will become mellower and more casual. Although, probably you will never be best buddies.